RUSSIAN ”APOCALYPSE NOW” ON STEROIDS

Classic Russian cinema is THE ARTSIEST one in the world. It is built on basic graphic elements and a powerful symbolic of the simple and direct script.

On the other side, the Russian war movies of the past were quite often drowned in pathetic and overemphasized patriotism, which lead to a significant diminishing of their art qualities.

All of this can not be said for the one of the most powerful and most painful to watch war stories ever, ”Come and see”.

Elem Klimov filmed a merciless and never ending torment for the average viewer, bombarding him from the very start with unbearably intense editing of every imaginable war horror from the deepest levels of hell. Although basically empty in the script line, ”Come and see” will first extinguish your soul and then blow you away with one of the most powerful endings in the history of war cinema.

”Come and see” is one those movies you will watch only once, but will never forget.

COME AND SEE – 8/10

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NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED

There are different kinds of Stephen King’s movie adaptations, and the one about the blood thirsty religious cult of children in some God forsaken village in Nebraska is not one of the milder ones.

Pretty gory for its era, it tends to dissipate its script when it comes to credibility of the entire concept, but nonetheless, 1984 version of ’’Children of the Corn’’ will give you a few goosebumps. Acting will be solid, especially when it comes to children, but much of the true story behind the cult will be saved for the much weaker sequels.

’’Children of the Corn’’ is still to be considered as one of the more serious horrors of the 1980s.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN – 5/10

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CHILDREN’S HORROR

There are movies that just need to be watched in a proper time of your life, and the adaptation of Stephen King’s notorious killer clown Pennywise is just one of those stories.

Viewed as a ten year old, it caused some serious trauma and the clown-phobia through the years to come. Viewed in the late thirties, it just caused boredom and parody-like laughter spiced up with some really thin plots and lame acting.

’’IT’’ is the movie for the children and should be viewed as such, despite all of its gore.

IT – 3/10

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CLASSIC CARPENTER TRASH

Story about a car killer is just one of those scripts that Carpenter built his career on, so the ’’Christine’’ fits in his portfolio like a glove.

All the elements of the ’80s trash horror will be there, poor acting, lame plots and some fine movie aesthetics as well.

However, the bad elements will overcome the good ones and not in a good manner, leaving this flick as one of the weaker ones legendary John signs.

Even if you are a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere fan, „Christine’’ won’t be a decent horror.

CHRISTINE – 3/10

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CRONENBERG AND IRONS AT THEIR BEST

Good horror movies are the ones that mimic the reality as much as possible and the best ones are those that have their base dug deep into the psychology.

„Dead Ringers” is one of those flicks, giving us the truly twisted story about the identical twins that share their business and private life seemingly without remorse.

Jeremy Irons portrays both characters with a terrifying ease as the script takes the similar dive into the disturbing world of true pathology and perversion, climaxing in a saddening end.

„Dead Ringers” is the best Cronenberg’s flick and the best role Jeremy Irons played in his career.

DEAD RINGERS – 7/10

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WAY TO GO (!)

When first part of the high budget modern trashy interpretation of „War of the worlds”, crashed directly on the DVD/online movie community, the impressions were pretty much positive.

Although in a lower level of cast, „Skyline” showed decently tense and hidden story, accompanied by some pretty good CGI and action sequences. With its very ending it offered less answers then it gave and the story about the advanced alien race that kidnap thousands of people to get their brains had to continue.

And it did, and did it by raising the level of trash to the level of parody. High end budget was there one again, as well as the C-level cast, but the script was the one that evolved beyond any predictions.

Not only do the aliens use human brains to drive their slave army of soldiers, they also do not manage to control every single brain they collect. When one of those brains in one of those soldier’s bodies manages to save his pregnant girlfriend that gives birth to a very special little girl, the hunt for the key of the survival of the entire human race begins.

And it leads us to Laos, crossing the paths with lead stars of the Indonesian martial art masterpiece, „Raid: Redemption”, paving the way to the ultimate standoff between aliens with blue brains, aliens with red brains and mankind at Angkor Wat.

„Beyond Skyline” is one of the finer examples of modern day Hollywood trash SF-horrors and deserves to be recognized as such.

BEYOND SKYLINE – 7/10

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BIGGER, BETTER, STRONGER

Concept of sharknados hitting the big screen every year may just the ultimate answer to the Hollywood’s decaying scriptwriting, baring its helplessness to the bone with each new Ian Ziering’s cheap C-production long feature.

After a couple of hickups in the franchize, the final installment is just bigger, better and funnier than any of the other four previous ones.

Production is now steadily growing at an even pace, while the trademark hilarious scriptwriting just keeps getting better and better. NATOnado, Shark-God, Stonehenge, British queen, Rio, Tokyo, Pope, Sharkzilla and ultimately, time travelling with the biggest and baddest of all the cameos at the very end will just make laugh your heart out and spit in the face of modern Hollywood.

„Global swarming” is the biggest, best and strongest of all the Ian Ziering’s hillarious stories about sharks as weather phenomena.

SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING – 8/10

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NOT ENTIRELY BRAINLESS

Shark horrors are sort of thing of the past. Once revealed to the world in „Jaws” they became a thing of the lowest productions, often crossing the line of self-parody.

However, not everything is bad, cheap and empty in the latest installment of the subgenre, the story about two sisters trapped by the vicious underwater beasts in the diving cage 47 meters below the surface. The acting is just plain horrible, and the effects will follow, but the final twist will beef up the overall impression at the very end.

„47 meters down” is an almost watchable movie, but only if you are a trash horror lover.

47 METERS DOWN – 3/10

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SEMI-DOCUMENTARY GRUESOME INDIE

B-horrors rarely managed to create the adequate atmosphere and the sense of realism due to their restricted budget, but original story about the family of demented mass murders buried deep into the American south isn’t of those failed scripts.

Although limited when it came to special effects and casting, „Texas chainsaw massacre” manages to persuade the viewer that those kind of maniacs really exists somewhere and that innocent people can get really hurt stumbling upon their home, as did the teenagers in the movie story.

„Texas chainsaw massacre” is one of the scarier horror movies and one of the more realistic ones as well.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – 6/10

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HILARIOUS, NOT SCARY

There are horror stories that were never meant to be scary, just utterly ironical and funny and „An American werewolf in London” is one of those stories.

All the trademark werewolf script elements will be there, as well as some hilarious dialogues between the dead and the living. On the other hand, special effects and acting will just be horrible, so that kinda evens up the score.

„An American werewolf in London” was better to have been directed as a comedy than a horror movie.

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON – 3/10

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STILL GRUESOME

1980s saw the rapid expansion of b-movie production, especially when it came to horrors.

Clive Barker’s story about the escapee from hell and its effort to revive himself certainly comes as one of the more bloody ones, fueled by some revolutionary special effects and solid acting (Higgins).

The script will also be one of the more innovative ones, although the ending and the introduction to the entire franchise is something we already saw many times before.

„Hellraiser” is still a gruesome horror, even by today’s standards.

HELLRAISER – 7/10

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PLAIN GARBAGE

Movie stories with merging human and animal genome can never work, whether it is about a spider-man or the fly-man.

Merging the nonmergable won’t be made more convincing neither by the stellar crew (Goldblum, Davis) nor by the solid director (Cronenberg). Trashy special effects will only contribute to the overall tragicomedy of the entire flick.

„The Fly” is one of movies that was out of date at the very moment it emerged and still remains so.

THE FLY – 2/10

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CARPENTER’S JOURNEY INTO MAINSTREAM

John Carpenter was the king of b-movies, especially when it came to horrors. His illustrious work in the lower  productions managed at one point to elevate him to some serious budgets, such as the „Halloween” saga.

Classical story about the immortal murderer behind the mask will show off all the director’s talent, especially when it comes to combining angles and lenses. It will enthrone Jamie Lee Curtiss as the queen of movie screams and open the entire movie cult that will span from modern horror interpretations („Scream”) to comedy („Scary movie”). It will also end too abruptly, just teasing the viewer to continue to follow the franchise.

„Halloween” is one of the best directed movies made by John Carpenter and a solid horror as well.

HALLOWEEN – 6/10

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OL’ SCHOOL SCARE

Wes Craven’s „Nightmare on Elm street” is certainly one of the most important horror franchises in recent movie history and it kicked off very well, bringing new and brutal action to the teenage population it was meant to scare.

Besides being the first flick in a flourishing saga, it also managed to establish one of the most iconic movie monsters, the man with daggers instead of his fingers, Freddie Krueger.

Besides from that, and the fact that it introduced young Johnny Depp to the mainstream public, „Nightmare on Elm street” is in the end a cliche horror story, with all its basic benchmarks and script developments.

„Nightmare on Elm street” was an important movie when it first showed up, but has lost some of its relevance during the course of time.

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – 4/10

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UTTER DISASTER

There is no nice way to put it, so I'll just say it loud: Ridley Scott is ripe for euthanasia. A man who once defined genres and made legendary franchises that educated entire generations is now killing his masterpieces one by one. Just if „Prometheus” wasn't enough, he gave birth to another retarded script that surpassed even its mediocre predecessor.

There isn't one good thing about „Covenant”. Not a single one. Not even  one good action sequence, or just a decent CGI. No. Everything is just so missing the point, that you'll laugh instead of being scared, or just end up being utterly frustrated. Script is practically non-existent, with „plot” being so lame and tragi-comical that entire flick becomes a self-parody right from the opening „I am your father” scene.

If the script was made for the people with special demands, what can be said about the acting? Even the otherwise reliable Fassbender is just drowning in sea of pretentiousness. His scenes in a double role are meant to be the best ones in the movie, but they end being the worst ones. Neutron storm, scene with the pipes, taming the aliens with breathing in their non-existent mouths, self-kissing, vomiting facehugger's embryos... Just plain AWFUL. All of this wouldn't bother me if Scott just came out in the open and went honest that he made a high end budget trash. No, no, he was serious, dead serious and that can't be forgiven or forgotten.

„Covenant” isn't just a worse „Alien” movie. It's the worse American blockbuster in this decade and maybe even in this century.

ALIEN: COVENANT – 0/10

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PREDICTABLE AND MANIRISTIC

American underground horrors are in a state of a quiet expansion in the past couple of years, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are all good flicks. Charm of the indie production can only go to a certain level, after which quality must kick in if you pretend to make something worth remembering.

„Get out” is one of those ambitious flicks, teasing the viewer with its emphasized slow tempo and creepy atmosphere right from its very beginning. Unfortunately, the development of the script as well as the acting kind a fails to follow that layout, and it does so ‘till the very end.

Just to be clear, every single classical horror aspect is there, including the trashy humor and the overall sense that the movie has been filmed in the 1980s. However, there will be not much new stuff to impress us and separate this much acclaimed indie from the rest of its production.

„Get out” is a good horror, but not an excellent one as it tries so hard to persuade us.

GET OUT - 5/10

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McAVOY FINALLY DID IT!

There are still some great scripts left in Hollywood. They are sparse, but can still find they way to the main production and some good young actors. When Di Caprio finally snatched the „golden boy” for being raped by the bear in „Revenant”, one of those script was set loose in the stratosphere, only to be snatched by James McAvoy and Night Shyamalan.

Story about one of the most fascinating American mass murderers who pledged for insanity by claiming that he had 23 different personalities was just crying for some diverse actor and James was the obvious choice. The entire flick was made just for one man and young Scott is using every single frame to show off everything he’s got. He is doing it with ease, but the directing and suspense isn’t following him along that fascinating way, which is a shame. Supporting cast are doing their part as well, but the climax is coming too soon and without a decent tensity. Not the first one of those flops by Shyamalan, a man directing horror movies that aren’t scary.

„Split” has a great concept, a great young actor, but not a great man behind the camera to follow them through.

SPLIT - 7/10

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NEVERENDING STORY

Mila Jovovich and her spouse Paul W.S. Anderson are back. Again. And again. And again. Spanning though almost two decades, one of the once interesting female action heroes sagas is just keep on pushing further and further afield from the originals, twisting and turning into endless circles that will make even a die hard fans forget the basic plot. Zombies are there, but now mutated into dragons, the action is there, but sparse, as well as only a couple of trademark mass scenes. Mila is there also, but without any energy and with some heavy bodily upgrades. Everything is there but the closure, leaving the room for more and more non-creative ideas.

Everything seen and viewed, „Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” is sadly, not the final chapter at all.

RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER – 2/10

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DECENT CLONE

Ridley Scott's „Alien” inspired entire generations of movie creators and it continues to do so 'till this very day. „Life” is one of the exact replicas of the 1979 masterpiece of SF horror and it does its ripping off relentlessly. There is no proper introduction, just plain old action and horror. The concept of the dormant alien creature (aka Calvin) that does its growing by devouring the crew of the Interantional Space Station is something we already saw more than once. All that follows represent one great mashup of deja vus that stretches out to the ending credits.

The A-list cast will do their parts without mistakes (especially Gyllenhaal), while the CGI and camera will be heavily influenced by the makers of „Gravity”.

Script will wander off pretty early in the movie, so expect no serious and scientifically justifiable plots.

„Life” will not surprise you, but will succeed in amusing you, especially if you were raised on the trash SF horror of the '80s.

LIFE – 5/10

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TAKING DOWN THE MASKS

There are movies that were made into what they are thanks to the limited resources of their creators, forcing them to compensate the lack of money, production and special effects. „Army of darkness” is on those sequels that brought all those things, but lost the connection to the first two parts, turning the entire concept into a teenage comedy. Sporadically, Bruce Campbell will make you laugh, but the overall sense will be quite empty.

„Army of darkness” signals the end to the entire genre in every major aspect.

ARMY OF DARKNESS – 2/10

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